Momento Espírita
Curitiba, 22 de Dezembro de 2024
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ícone Harmful silence

     History repeats itself in the bosom of many families, whether rich or poor.

     Children mention having seen certain things, or heard certain noises, and their parents, without even checking it out, just say there are no such things. That there are no noises at all.

     If the children insist, saying they have actually seen it, that it is true, they get scolded and even punished.

     There are no such things! – that is what the parents say. As if they knew everything in heaven and earth or in the seas.

     By doing that, they create a few problems for themselves.

     The first one, and possibly the most lethal for their relationship with their offspring, is losing the quality in their role as their children’s confidents.

     Soon these kids will be looking for someone who will listen to them. And they may find a housemaid, a babysitter, uncles, grandparents and people outside their home.

     So they begin forming friendships away from home. They find people willing to hear them, not always with the best intentions.

     The second one, a serious problem is forcing the child to silence. If what she sees is catalogued by her parents as lies, make believe, fruits of her fertile imagination, she will just keep it to herself.

     In silence, she starts to live scared and terrified.

     By seeing and hearing things other people do not, she starts to believe  not being normal, being different.

     It is a logical sequence: isolation, fear of friendships that might eventually find out how weird she is.

     With no guide and help or explanation of what is going on, or therapeutic help, when needed, the child is left to bear heavy burdens.

     The cinema has explored such issues for a long time, with ever-increasing intensity.

     Movies show how those who have no voice at home, get no credit for what they claim to have seen, heard and felt end up establishing friendships away from home.

    Sometimes, those are positive relationships of great value. Other times, they are unscrupulous people willing to use them for their own dark purposes.

    Literature is no less prolific in examples, and still many parents apparently do not understand.

    They remain in the same irreducible stance of If I don’t see it, if I don’t hear it, it does not exist.

    As guardians of their children, parents must always listen, search, discuss.

    It all may be just fantasy. If it is, let us remember we were children once, and let us address the issue properly.

    If actual facts are happening, let us watch.

     Many dramas could be avoided if inattentive parents had heard their children’s complaints about mishandlings or punishments they received from others.

     If what our child sees are Spirits, whether you believe or not in their existence, support must be provided.

     It may come through prayer, on those frightening moments. Or the natural explanation that Spirits are everywhere: the good ones do not wish us harm, and the bad ones need our prayers.

     Also a helping hand, a protective embrace, to show the child that she may count on us.

     If it is the beginning of some mental condition, detecting the signs as soon as possible can only help the afflicted.

     If parents go looking for therapeutic counseling, they will avoid potential disasters in the future.


*   *   *

     Let us think about it and learn to listen to our children.

     Fantasies, spiritual presences or mental constructions, it does not matter. Let us always listen and guide with sense.

 Spiritist Moment T eam.
June 04.2010.

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