It is said that an Indian Master whose name was Nasrudin was talking to a friend who asked him the following question: So, Master, have you ever thought of getting married?

Yes, I have, answered Nasrudin. During my youth days I decided to meet the perfect woman. I crossed the desert, arrived at Damasco and met a beautiful and highly spiritual woman; but she did not know about the world.

I continued the journey towards Isfahan. There I met a woman that knew the both the spiritual and material worlds, she was not beautiful though.

Therefore I decided to go to Cairo, where I had dinner with a beautiful woman who also knew about both the spiritual and material worlds.

Puzzled, his friend asked:

And why didn't you marry her?

The Indian Master whispered: Oh! My friend, unfortunately she was also looking for the perfect man.

The teachings of the Indian Master are specially useful nowadays.

We often hear people having high expectations about friendship, dating, and marriage.

The young create in their dreaming minds the idealization of the one who will claim their hearts.

We are naïve when looking for a perfection in others that we cannot find in ourselves.

There is nothing wrong about having high standards for our friends and spouses - this is recommended when done without exaggerations, of course.

The problem is expecting others to be special, full of virtues while forgetting that he/she also has his/her own idealizations.

We should ask ourselves: Do I have the same virtues that I am looking for in others? Does he have a list of expected virtues like mine? Would I fulfill my own requisites?

As an example, many dream of someone friendly, sincere, who can be trusted. Have you asked yourself if you are willing to hold yourself accountable to the same standards? Have you asked yourself if the virtue of sincerity is in your heart, or if you can be trusted?

Let's be rational and understand life better. Before we can expect something from others we need to check if we have it ourselves.

The effort for improving ourselves and pleasing others is important and recommended, it means trying to reach perfection in ourselves first.

Although being far from perfect, we should make every attempt to move towards perfection every day.

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Dreaming is beautiful. We should wish for happiness, but when we wish for it in others only, we will keep on getting disappointed and flustered.

Let us have the habit of thinking about how we can make those around us happy, instead of simply expecting attitudes and feelings from them.

Dreaming is beautiful. We should wish for happiness, but let us not forget that in order to be happy, I need to make others happy.

Spiritist Moment Team, based on the chapter A mulher perfeita from the book Histórias
 para pais, filhos e netos, by Paulo Coelho. Publishing house: Globo.
March 02.2009.