The writer Stephen Covey recounts in one of his books, a fact which happened to him on a Sunday morning, on the New York underground.

        People were calmly reading newspapers, daydreaming, resting with their eyes half closed. It was a calm and peaceful scenery.

        Suddenly, a man came into the carriage with his sons. The children were making a racket and behaving badly. The atmosphere changed instantly.

        The man sat beside Stephen and closed his eyes, apparently ignoring the situation.

        The children ran from one side to another, throwing things and even pulling the passengers’newspapers, annoying everybody.

        Even though the man did nothing.

        To Stephen it was almost impossible to avoid the anger. He could not believe the man was so insensitive as to let his own kids bother other people and take no attitude.

        It was easily noticeable that all the others passengers were also angry.

        At a certain point, while still keeping his temper and control, Stephen turned to the man and said: Sir, your kids are bothering many people. Could you do something about it?

        The man looked at Stephen, as if becoming aware of the situation just then, and calmly said: Yes, I believe you are right. I guess I should do something. We  have just left the hospital where their mother died one hour ago... I do not know what to think, and it seems that they also do not know how to handle it.

        We can imagine how Stephen felt on that moment.

        Before this unexpected answer, he started to see the situation in a different way. As he saw it differently, he thought, felt and acted in a different way.

* * *

        How many times we see, feel and act opposite the way we should, because we do not realize the reality in the background.

        In this turbulent world we live in, thinking solely of ourselves, lots of hidden pain and wailing go unperceived, and we miss the opportunity to help, to lend a willing hand.

        Therefore it is important to cultivate in ourselves the sensibility to perceive the hidden pain and ease the toughness of life around us.

        Usually we condemn, without analyzing the reality of whom is going through great difficulties.

        However, it is good when someone notices our pains and sufferings which we do not dare to express...

        It is so pleasing when someone realizes that we are going through difficult moments and offers us support...

        It is so comforting to meet someone who reads into our eyes the sadness we carry in our distressed soul, and beckon us with words of optimism and hope...

        People have different ways to deal with suffering. Some despair, others get apathetic, many become aggressive, others run away...

        For that reason, we should not judge a situation by its appearance, because we can be mislead.

        In the underground case, after knowing what was really happening to that father and his kids, Stephen’s heart was filled with compassion.

        I am really sorry. Would you like to talk about that? Can I help?, that was the attitude of whom was about to have a nervous breakdown.

        His feelings had changed. And they changed because he had learned the truth which was hidden behind the apparent indifference of a father who did not know how to deal with his own suffering...

        Think about it !

Spiritist Moment Team, based on the chapter De dentro para fora, from the book Os sete hábitos das pessoas altamente eficazes, by Stephen Covey, publishing house Best Seller and Franklin Covey.
February 18 2008.