Francisco Candido Xavier was a man whose life was dedicated to spread Christ´s word. Through his actions, he preached peace and taught us about charity. His life was an example of Christian conduct.

Medium, he lived for ninety-two years, and was despised by many during his life; he suffered injuries and insults, and passed through all of it immune.

In one of his many recorded statements, he said:

Thank God that I do not remember having retaliated to any offense I have suffered, certainly aiming all of them to my education. And I do not recall having hurt anybody deliberately.

His statement makes us reflect on how we react when we are offended. In our daily life, we meet situations that test our conduct.

They are the looks of scorn or envy. The words that hurt and humiliate. The unkind gestures that disturb and offend.

They are also the continuous attitudes of omission, neglect of duty, or oppression that happen between siblings, couples, parents and children, which add up and turn into huge grievances.

It is very common to see shattered families due the growing anger, bitterness and unkindness. Finally we often see relationships fading by the absence of forgiveness.

Whatever it might be the severity of the unhappy acts towards us, let us see the other, who hurts and harms us, as someone who may be ill and truly in need of help.

And how do we choose to react towards the one who offends us?

When we act the same way as the other, joining them, fighting back, either with words or actions we let them dictate our conduct.

We will be acting the same way as the other who has done the disturbing gesture.

It is proper that we feel sad when someone offends us, but what should really make us sad, is to be the offender.

Practicing forgiveness and self-forgiveness is a daily exercise that we should propose to ourselves. We are all able to forgive.

Let us not forget that, often, we are the ones in need of forgiveness.

We must begin by considering and forgiving the minor and smaller offenses, so that we are prepared when we meet delicate situations which require this virtue.

Forgiving is also giving. When we forgive we give chance for understanding, patience, consideration and love that purifies. Forgetting the offenses is something that belongs to evolved souls.

But forgiveness does not mean forgetting the fact itself. It often is quite hard to eliminate from our memory the action that has hurt us.

To forgive means to put an end to any angry feelings, it is to stop to feed within us the feeling of resentment towards the one who have injured us or done the unkind gesture which affected us.

Forgiveness calms, releases, bring peace and harmony to our lives.  

True forgiveness it the one that comes from the heart and not from the lips.

Invite yourself to allow forgiveness triumph over bitterness and resentment.