How do you usually react to your children's shenanigans? Are you one of those who believe that children must be disciplined so to become responsible adults?

You are right. However, what must be taken into account is how the discipline is imposed to the little ones.

This is the story of a Brazilian writer who narrates his own experience at age seven or eight. He now accounts for over eighty years of age.

He used to live with his parents, a few meters away from a railway. He was a shy and quiet kid.

But one day he decided to test his strength and aim. For his target, he chose the train passing by. He took a rock, aimed and shot it.

That happened to be a passenger train, though. The rock broke through the window. Luckily, it did not hit anyone.

When the train reached the following station, someone called the previous one and, as a matter of fact, it was not hard to find the author of such a terroristic act. The boy's parents were not given to body punishments, but the father decreed a terrible punishment to his son. He was to be seated at the top of a pile of wooden railway sleepers by the railway, in front of everybody. 

The boy felt humiliated. And worst of all, he was not aware of the reason for such punishment. After all, he had only thrown a rock into the train.

At a certain time, though, a railway employee approached him. He climbed up the sleepers and sat beside the kid.

He was not bringing any conviction or censorship words. Nor was he disallowing the father's punishment.  But he explained, on an adult way, that the unthoughtful gesture could have hurt, even killed someone on the train.

He advised the kid to think over the consequences. Somebody could have gone blind or been severely hurt with his shenanigan.

At the end of his speech, recalling such childish moment, the writer confesses that he had never, ever thrown rocks on others again; even though he had been hit by a few rocks throughout his life...

But what he gratefully remembers the most, despite the many years gone by, is that gentleman who had been the first person not to reprehend, censor or criticize him, but to talk to him as an adult instead. He had spoken to him man to man, without irony or aggressiveness.

Above all, he explained him the situation. That act helped him understand why he had been given such punishment.

*   *   *

Before any premature criticism or condemnation, it is essential to listen to the kids.

It is as important for them to explain their reasons as it is for parents - who are playing the educators' role - to explain the mistakes they've made.

Many times, only the fact of kids finding out they made a mistake is already a punishment, because their consciousness will accuse them.

This means that a good explanation about the consequences, dangers and responsibilities is way much more worth than any punishment without a dialogue.

As they say: It is by speaking up that we get to understand each other...

Spiritist Moment Team, based on chapter 12 from the book Nossos filhos são Espíritos, by Hermínio Miranda, edited by Arte e cultura.
April 19.2011.