Do you have any children?

        If your answer was positive, then answer this: Are you a father?

        Well, some people might think having children and being a father is the same thing, but if we stop to reflect a bit, we will soon notice the difference.

        Having children is just being capable of reproduction, to surrender to the flesh in order to procreate.

        To be a father, you need to do much more then that.

        Some time ago, there was a story on a magazine of some executives and businessmen who had children, but were not fathers.

        Usually, they get home and do not realize they have already left their offices.

        They have forgotten about their affective feelings and keep giving orders to their wives as if they were their secretaries and their children their subordinates, they do not even change their tone of voice.

        A statistic shown in a magazine called Fortune attests the dramatic dimension of this problem.

        It shows that businessmen’s children show levels of maladjustment much higher than in other social levels.

        In the book called The Parent’s Handbook, a best seller in the United States, two specialists deal with the matter with a lot of competence.

        They establish, amongst other things, seven steps to be a good father:

        1ª - Act naturally. Give the right amount of attention. If you exaggerate frequently, your children will feel rejected whenever you are not able to give them the same attention.

        2ª - Tell your children you love them; especially when they do not expect it. Do not save on gestures. Kisses, hugs, caresses and emotion might have more effect than a dozen attitudes.

        3ª - It is better to encourage than to reprehend; to incentive than to give them prizes. Say with sincerity I trust your capacity of decision, I believe in your discernment.

        4ª - Listen to your children! (Possibly the most important recommendation of all). Learn to listen to what they have to tell you. Listen until they have finished speaking. Do not interrupt them, do not conclude or make them conclude half way through their speech. More than your opinion, they want to tell you something.

        5ª - Even in case of a serious mistake, try not to be too hard on them. Let them explain their reasons. If they do not convince you, try to think about it together, helping them realize what the mistake is, making them capable of realizing the error by themselves.

        6ª - Even if you are sure you know what is going to happen, as long as it does not endanger your children’s integrity, allow them to experiment and reach their own conclusions. The best way to learn is still from our own experiences.

        7ª - Treat your children with the same manners and cordiality you treat your friends. Acting this way, they will surely become one of your best friends.

        Not all rules to become a good father are listed here, but they surely will take you closer to your objective.

* * *

        Every child is a sacred loan that must be valued and improved by parents’ love, and one day he/she will be returned to the Celestial Father.

Spiritist Moment Team, based on excerpts from article in the magazine Factus, February 1999  and in the word Filhos, of the Repositório de sabedoria, v. 1, by the Spirit Joanna de Ângelis, psychography of Divaldo P. Franco, publishing house Leal.
May 09 2008.